For Now We Look In a Mirror Dimly…

Thank you to the survivor who anonymously submitted this poem. Writing can be very personally restorative after sexual trauma, as well as ‘speaking’ to those who read it. We hope this poem helped the author and will help other survivors too.

 

 

For now we look in a mirror dimly

But then face to face,

We look at ourselves, what image reflects back?

The memories gone by, excited images of the past

What else can we see when we delve deeper still?

Incidents not wanting to be recalled, now looking back at me

Incidents of despair, hurt, fear and the unknown

Situations that I didn’t like, fractured pictures, images mixed together

Clear memories once locked away, at the surface-

but I was never facing them alone.

What else can I see, right deep inside, in me?

A beautiful soul, kind spirit, peacemaker- that’s part of me

My inner me, not damaged by the world,

Kept apart, at one in God, His spirit in me

How do I move on, from an unclear reflection?

Focus on the good, the pure, and the wholeness of creation

Memories gone by, some clear, some fade

People join on the journey to help make clear the way.

 

Where does it lead, this path that contains despair?

Not to hope, kindness and peace- it’s not welcomed there

Time to let go, to look the other way

To choose the mirrors I look into and others I can turn away

Bridges built around my box can slowly be taken down

I want to see the inner me not crushed into the ground

My boat will make it to harbour’s rest,

It shall be restored-

not tainted by memories that are there still, some not yet removed

One day I can ask the questions-

If by then I do still want

But for now I will rest in assurance that

My life does hold value not hurt.

 

For now, I look in a mirror dimly- but then face to face

Now I know in part, but then I shall know fully, just as I am fully understood.