For Now We Look In a Mirror Dimly…
Thank you to the survivor who anonymously submitted this poem. Writing can be very personally restorative after sexual trauma, as well as ‘speaking’ to those who read it. We hope this poem helped the author and will help other survivors too.
For now we look in a mirror dimly
But then face to face,
We look at ourselves, what image reflects back?
The memories gone by, excited images of the past
What else can we see when we delve deeper still?
Incidents not wanting to be recalled, now looking back at me
Incidents of despair, hurt, fear and the unknown
Situations that I didn’t like, fractured pictures, images mixed together
Clear memories once locked away, at the surface-
but I was never facing them alone.
What else can I see, right deep inside, in me?
A beautiful soul, kind spirit, peacemaker- that’s part of me
My inner me, not damaged by the world,
Kept apart, at one in God, His spirit in me
How do I move on, from an unclear reflection?
Focus on the good, the pure, and the wholeness of creation
Memories gone by, some clear, some fade
People join on the journey to help make clear the way.
Where does it lead, this path that contains despair?
Not to hope, kindness and peace- it’s not welcomed there
Time to let go, to look the other way
To choose the mirrors I look into and others I can turn away
Bridges built around my box can slowly be taken down
I want to see the inner me not crushed into the ground
My boat will make it to harbour’s rest,
It shall be restored-
not tainted by memories that are there still, some not yet removed
One day I can ask the questions-
If by then I do still want
But for now I will rest in assurance that
My life does hold value not hurt.
For now, I look in a mirror dimly- but then face to face
Now I know in part, but then I shall know fully, just as I am fully understood.