We’re here for you

Reclaiming Her Strength: A Young Survivor’s Journey

Oliwia, a young survivor we supported, reached out to us after finishing university. Looking back at her extraordinary feat of earning her degree, finding her passion, and reclaiming her space as a young woman and survivor, we are beyond hopeful to see what the future brings for her.

She thanked RSVP in her final dissertation for supporting her through a difficult time. And in return, we also thank her for being a beacon of hope for every survivor who has struggled or is struggling after trauma. Healing is realising there are lighter days ahead.

Following is Oliwia’s experience in her own words:

People say turning 16 is just so sweet, but for me it wasn’t it was the worst year ever. I’ve had the worst thing happen to me that I didn’t know was possible or that men like that actually existed. Yes, you hear the stories, feels like a myth, but those disgusting creatures actually exist.

My story is that I was raped, sexually assaulted and threatened by the same man. Words can’t begin to describe how I felt. I was disgusted in my own skin, especially since I’d lost my virginity through rape. This wasn’t something I wanted to experience and knowing that my ‘cherry had popped’ was traumatising, especially at the age of 16 when all I wanted to do was become a famous actress. I lost everything, my passion for acting and drama, and isolating myself from everyone. For nine months, I didn’t want to talk about what had happened.

Additionally I was given an advocate that would help with the Police and any documents that needed to be doing, help with any issues or concerns we’ve had. This was useful because my advocate was able to help me fill out a form to report the Police Officers I’ve had, and it came out they ran my case wrong from the very start.

Through out the therapy, came out my case has been closed and there won’t be a court case. I felt devastated, lost, and felt like I let myself 16 year old self down because Police didn’t do much, changed the Police officer half way through and they didn’t look at if he (the abuser) had done anything previously. When I heard the news my advocate helped me to fill out a form for someone to review my case again, and came out there was more victims and that it was going to court.

Thanks to RSVP, when I heard that it was going to court I was given extra therapy, help and advice.

Throughout the extra year and a half, my advocate was able to show me how the court will look like, help me fill out the forms if needed and be there in court for me. It felt like RSVP was just more than therapy and people, but felt like they were part of my family that supported me at my darkest points in my life. Where I thought I didn’t have any more strength, they were there to support me and told me to carry on, even at points where I’ve thought I wanted to give up on life and where I’ve felt like everything was my fault for everything that happened.

Over time these small steps made a big difference.  Things that once seemed impossible gradually became manageable and I regained confidence trust and a sense of control over my life.

RSVP is more than just therapy and a place of support but will be there with you for life and I’m super grateful to have been able to get support from them.

---

You can follow Oliwia’s bold, vibrant life online on Instagram via her username @oliwiawudarwoicz

A Survivor Running for Survivors

An inspiring survivor, Courtney, who once found support from our services, has recently run the Royal Sutton Fun Run in May 2026. Her run was fuelled by her strength through trauma and we are utterly proud of everything she has achieved.

This is Courtney’s experience in her words:

I recently took part in the Sutton Fun Run, an 8.5-mile run, alongside colleagues from work and completed it in 2 hours and 52 minutes. While I walked the route rather than ran it, crossing the finish line was a huge achievement for me and something I am very proud of as I have never done anything like that before.

The atmosphere throughout the day was incredible. There were supporters cheering everyone on along the route, and having a few family members there to encourage me made such a difference. It was a warm day, and I made the most of every opportunity to cool down. Every time I saw someone with a hosepipe or a bucket of water, I was asking them to soak me!

I chose to support RSVP because their service had a significant impact on my life. I received counselling through RSVP for several years during a particularly difficult period, and the support I received helped me through some of my toughest times. I will always be grateful for the kindness, understanding and guidance I was given, especially by my counsellor, Mike.

Being able to give something back to a charity that helped me so much, as well as help so many others, felt incredibly meaningful. Through the challenge, I was able to raise £405, and knowing that this money could help other people access the support they need made every mile worthwhile.

Speak Up- A Survivor’s Triumph After Trauma

My name is Shania‑Leigh, and I am a survivor. This is my story.

When I was a child, I lived with my nan and grandad. From around the age of 12, I went to my auntie’s house every week while she went to bingo with my nan. During those hours, I was left alone with her now ex‑husband. And he decided to take it upon himself to sexually abuse me every week without fail.

I said no. I tried to fight him off. But I was just a child, and he was bigger and stronger than me. He threatened me into silence, and I believed him. I was petrified.

As soon as he knew about it, the abuse stopped. He was an abusive narcissist and told me to get rid of the baby. Which I would never do. So I had my child.

But the trauma and turmoil still lived within me. When it all felt way too much for me, I finally spoke to my health visitor. She contacted the police, and throughout the whole process, there was a lot of help and support out there. It was a relief, that I had been able to finally speak out.

The police put me in touch with an Independent Sexual Violence Advocate from RSVP. My ISVA stood by me through court and counselling. My advocate talked me through how the court case would run, as I didn’t know and I was terrified. Then after the court case, I was able to have counselling for it also, which was a massive help. For the first time, I felt seen, not silenced.

Today, I’m nearly 13 years free from abuse. I’m stronger, my mental health has improved, and I’ve gone on to have a loving family. I couldn’t be happier.

I’m sharing my story for anyone who went through sexual or domestic abuse, who are locking themselves away with it which is weighing them down. Abuse isn’t always by a stranger — sometimes it’s someone close. Someone who you consider to be “family”. I’m doing this to show people that if you do speak up, you will get justice for it all in the end as there is loads of help out there for you.

If you’re carrying this alone, please speak up.

You are a survivor — not a victim. Help is out there.

[Survivor name and story shared with consent.]

---

RSVP’s Message

RSVP is incredibly proud of Shania-Leigh. Her strength, courage and determination shines through to light the way for other survivors. We wish her all the best and echo her message: Speak up. We’re here to help.

⚠️Office Closure- January 2026

The weather is taking a severe turn, and now there is an amber weather warning across the region. Storm Goretti might make travelling quite difficult due to snowfall predictions, and that’s why RSVP has made the decision to temporarily close our office till normal weather returns.

Here are the dates to keep in mind:

a. Office closed from Thurs 8th Jan, 2pm onwards, after which our team will work from home.

b. Office closed all day on Friday, 9th Jan, with our team working from home. This is a precaution, since the amber warning extends to Friday morning and could impact safe travel.

c. Office open on Saturday as usual, unless the current predicted weather changes. We will send further updates if anything changes.

We are in the processing of contacting clients, due to be seen in person (at our main premises, outreach, schools etc. and from 2pm today or tomorrow) to inform them to stay safe, not to travel & to be offered an alternative phone session instead. For younger children we will offer carers/parents a check in instead.

Please look out for a message on your email or phone to update you. Already booked phone appointments will generally continue as planned.

Although this is a change to how we support clients, we want to ensure that survivors, our team and colleagues can avoid travel during an amber warning, and stay safe. This is our priority.

For any questions or assistance, please get in touch with us via email: info@rsvporg.co.uk

Avoidance and Acceptance – Facing my reality

When I think about my journey, I knew from the moment I disclosed at 8 years old that the relationship with my brother wasn’t right.  After disclosure I realised, I couldn’t trust any of the adults in my life either. I went against the grain, as my mom wasn’t listening, I told everyone what was happening to me, teachers, friends, friends of mom’s everyone knew but no one did anything so I stayed stuck in a house full of danger and horror. The anger wasn’t lost on me, but mom threatened and scared to the point where I kept my mouth shut and my anger wouldn’t show itself for another 20 years.

The only shining light was my nan and grandad who knew something was wrong yet felt powerless to stop it. They asked questions but for some reason I didn’t want to taint the world with that word and the horrific reality of my life. Nan was so dedicated it took her 3 hours to see me just for a couple of hours after school. She got robbed the one night on her way back home, nothing stopped her.

Fast forward to reaching 20 years old and I reported to the police for the first time to be told that my brother was experimenting, and it was harmless. Then when I was 22, Nan died, the one saviour, the one person who loved me and knew what was going on even though I never told her. Three months after her death I could not stop crying, literally couldn’t stop, I found a private counsellor.

You have to remember up until this point it was easy to live in denial and avoidance. My trauma bonds had done what they do, flight had kicked in and I could barely remember what happened to me. This along with everyone around me denying my truth it was easy to pretend it didn’t happen.

And so we come to the theme of my story avoidance and acceptance, knowing something so horrific has happened to you but subconsciously never wanting to go there. 

As I sat in the chair the counsellor’s emotionless face asking the standard questions she asked “Why am I here?” now at this point I would have assumed I would talk about my nan’s passing instead I said “I think I was abused”. The emotionless face turned into a puzzled one and I think without her even being able to engage her head and her mouth she automatically said “well either you were or you weren’t so which is it?”.

Between 2007 and 2020 I had two counsellors, but I could still never say the word rape I would call it anything else, a bit like the series The Walking Dead, they never use the word zombies they call them walkers instead. I would use every other word but that one.

Fast forward to 2019 at 34 years old I was off to London to take part in the national enquiry into child abuse. I told them my story, told them my point of view and the impact the abuse had had on my life. At this point, they asked if I would like to report what happened to the police to which I said yes.

During lockdown, I reported to the police, still avoiding that word. I had a brilliant ISVA who supported me the whole way. I was then offered counselling by RSVP and waited for the sessions to start. I like face to face counselling, I like how as soon as I walk in they (as in counsellors) start doing their thing, judging your mood, commenting on how rushed and flustered I usually am. I like how they comment on me tapping my fingers, I have always been impatient with my counselling, “Just cure me damn it then I can be done with all this”. How naïve of me. How impatient of me.

Counselling at RSVP was different, I had to face the word, and I have to properly accept my reality, no avoiding this time. I am actually worthy of the free counselling, actually worthy of their time and resources, as I say that I still have a tear in my eye and a choked-up throat.  Finally, after all these years I am getting what I wanted when I was 8 years old. Finally having to face my reality, this is where people go when they have been RAPED. Wow there I said it, I finally said it, I finally feel it, I finally get to a certain level of acceptance. 

Now the million-dollar question is, would I have got to that point if I had not received the free counselling? Would I have not to that point just by attending my private counselling alone? The answer, I don’t think so, so much to do with trauma bonds is avoidance, a lot of mine happened subconsciously too. I was going to heal from being abused but calling it rape weirdly even subconsciously seemed like a step too far. Abuse is softer, more palatable, it could mean anything. Rape is too direct, too real.

So, this is dedicated to all survivors who are navigating our acceptance of what happened to us. A thank you to the avoidance for keeping us safe and able to function when at times we cannot. Thank you as well to acceptance, for being so powerful when we make those tiny little steps towards it and giving us faith that at some point, we come to a place of peace and being able to accept what happened because

I WAS RAPED.

Why does everything have to be a battle?

A blog written by a former client and supporter of RSVP.

I’m sitting in the waiting room. Legs shaking, heart racing, a bead of sweat
leaves my face- Anxiety.

My name is called, and I walk into the room like a lamb to the slaughter, my
mind trying to distract itself from the triggers that start to occur. I hear
the muffled voice of the gynaecologist talking about the ‘check-up’ I’m about
to have, he starts to ask me questions, questions that I already know will be
asked, preparing for my cue for those words I have to say, I immediately look
away as the words escape my lips just so I don’t have to have that look, the
look of shock, embarrassment for asking me and then pity- in that order. Those
words come through hesitation.

“I was raped and sexually abused”

I also know what the reply will be, “I’m sorry I didn’t see this in
your notes straight away” This is not because I can see the future, this
is because no matter what appointment it may be this is what always
happens. 

Why does everything have to be a
battle? Why can’t I just walk in without all these feelings? Why is
something so traumatic and important hidden away in the lost pages of doctor’s
notes? Shouldn’t I be able to go to an appointment such as a baby scan for
example without the reminder of the monster who took my innocence away, when
you’re trying to move 3 steps forward just to be dragged 6 steps back?

One of the experiences I had, started the same way, but this time my mom’s
with me, she stands up with me almost in sync, the face of the doctor who’s
doing today’s examination looks confused, her face full of disbelief- she
hesitates as she shows us the way. I’m instantly annoyed at the judgement, she’s
wondering to herself why a 30 year old woman needs her mom to assist her
through this simple procedure. Nothing is mentioned, I walk into the room and
the nurse has the same look on her face. They both shared a glare
together. 

Like before, the questions are asked and answered, but she’s silent. Maybe
she didn’t hear me as I lay down ready? She asks me again, I reply again and
all of sudden everything changes, their body language changes, that look I was
welcomed with has gone.
“I didn’t see this on your notes” after scrolling for a few seconds
she realises. An apology enters the room, her admitting her judgment. She
offers another appointment with extra time so I can control the pace with whomever
I feel comfortable with to hold my hand- all the steps that should of been in
place in the first place. 

This isn’t the first and I know it won’t be the last. Thankfully not every
appointment is like this and I have had better experiences with a lot of help
and compassion. 

My idea is maybe a sign that survivors can have on their notes next to their
names such as possibly a purple circle sticker- purple represents survivor of
rape/sexual abuse.
My background in working in a hospital and on our computer system we see certain
signs about some patients background, for example we know immediately that if
a  patient has a risk of illness which is contagious to anyone else, there
is a circle that is black and yellow, or a patient that is a risk of falls,
there is a little stick man that’s falling. These are somethings that we see
straight away before we look into the patients notes. 

Another suggestion is something similar to the domestic abuse sign which is having
a closed fist with the thumb tucked in. For those who are unfamiliar with this
sign, this is used when you ask for help discreetly or show that you are in
distress without using your voice. Say maybe the same symbol but put your fist
to your heart when you don’t feel you’re in a safe place or not in the right
frame of mind to talk about it so automatically receptionists and doctors can
put things in place ready for you. These are just small steps but big
enough to change our experiences and may ease anxiety for many at appointments.

RSVP offers an ISVA service to help survivors through health and other triggering
appointments. Click here to find out more.

Sugar coated words

Some days I welcome the frost in the mirror,

too unbreakable to reflect crystal thoughts,

Stones rattling for each word thrown in discarded arrogance,

Barely skimming the surface as I casually toss them aside.

Some days I am on the run,

A fake criminal with no record, only the sentence has already been given,

Judge and jury lining up one by one

Ready to hurtle sugar coated undertones of narrative, silent accusations.

However far away I am sent,

Through the raging underbelly of a swirling mist or banished to the darkest corners,

I still exist                                                                                

I am ready.

I have survived!

© Elizabeth Shane – (From Behind the Mask)

Available on www.elizabethshane.com

You & Me

Thank you to the survivor who submitted this poem, and the five other poems published over the past few days. We really appreciate you sharing your words with us and other survivors.

A year

since you started to help my broken

Self

stitch-my-skin-back

t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r

Comfort film with

pancake making

Sleeping with you – my naked person

Valentine’s day chocolates and prosecco in

bed

When the stitches

 fall

I held onto

you

Violent crying I can’t                                                                                   (stop)

Raw emotions that open

up the wound

Phantom pains

Force memories back

But you are here

Holding onto me too

fish and chips and

good sex

Your voice comforting me on the train

You

Me

I was broken

I was no longer me

Now I am me

Me with you

i want to write a happy poem

i want to write a happy poem

but while I’m still sad

you make me safer

anchored to your body

my fingertips graze over your chest

following to your nipples and collarbone

kissing you, chin to cheek

your lips on my neck and hands giving me heat

below

i wear your hoodie to have your arms around

me again

outlining my smiles with your finger

we wait for the miles between us to cease

your hands in my hair again

brushing your fingers through it

you like my cheeky grin

hands that warm mine

and fit as if by design.

i smiled through the pain

i smiled through the pain in the morning

as I knew you’d have to

leave

i kissed you goodbye

now I can only cry

i feared the thud would be heard through the

walls

violence echoes in the silence

now I just have blood

a bruised body

and pain where I sit

is this what I get for being called fit?