I am ok.

This is a poem by a survivor (who wants to remain anonymous) about moving from being “not ok” to starting to feel that they “are ok”.  We think that many survivors will be able to relate to and connect with this journey.

 I am ok

 

i.

I am not ok

What is outside is not inside

It’s someone else’s life on show

And I like that life, I wish it was mine

But the inside me is tainted, it’s wrong

And it’s so tiring keeping that part secret

It’s got so cold.

 

ii.

I think I might be ok

I spoke today, I said the words

And I was listened to, I was heard

And she believed. Me.

I performed my show life

But she said, “No. That is not you”

“It’s the inside you that matters”

“Show me”

 

iii.

My words and my truth are making light

That is starting to puncture the darkness

The shame is not mine to own

And the world that is me can be bigger

Oh, God- the journey is long

But I am travelling it, in skips and jumps and tiny scared steps

I am travelling it

And I am ok

I am ok.