Not Alone

This poem was written by Ann. Thank you so much to Ann for sharing your words with us and other survivors.

My world
was still,
stopped.
No tick tock,
vacuum
no room
for air or breath.
Now it’s here
the FEAR
marching in my brain.
Alone with no
control,
Insane?

Mistrust,
body rust
brain dust,
it won’t wash,
it won’t quash,
It’s part of me
I can’t cut free.
That second I slipped
Has tripped
my life
I’ve woken up,
I smell of fear
I am not the same.
It’s cost me dear
Because
I played the sickest game.

But still
I can’t give in.
Spiral curl
into a little girl,
wind up my mind
into a spool,
regard myself
as such a fool.
I MUST
reach out
search about
for someone else
like me
at RSVP.
Someone else
who’ll set me free
from being stone
and facing this
all
on my own.

Strength in numbers,
strength in me?
It’s in here somewhere,
let it free.
“Hard to trust?”
I don’t deny,
I might stumble,
I might cry.
But most will
let me share their boat
safe from sinking,
help me float,
its safety
only we can share
it gives me strength
to know you’re there.