Only A Trigger
Pearl has written this amazing poem while in lockdown, reflecting on how the current situation has triggered a lot of memories and emotions.
Lockdown……
Shockdown.
I’m as small as I was-
No escape- because
I have to obey,
Nothing’s my way,
I’m out of control,
I’ve lost my role,
I’m spiralling down
Into the pit
Where the Demons sit
And laugh, so smug
at my innocent cries,
My infant ides
In shrouds of dust,
I know I must
Obey this ‘man’,
This Power, this sham.
I have no say,
No voice to speak,
No sound, too weak.
I must just breathe,
That’s all I can do,
I know if I breathe
It will carry me through
and back into sunlight, where I can be FREE,
Back to my adult self.
Back to be me.
I know I can beat this,
Can rise up and sing,
Its only a trigger
This ‘Lockdown’ thing.
BUT, I’m silent with fear, like a mouse scared to tread,
Frightened of surfaces, scared to be dead.
I feel unclean, unseen…..
Only on screen,
Storing up eye-strain,
Developing Blue brain,
Tapping my life out,
Snipping my hair-
That’s hard- to be fair.
Thank God for Wotsap,
Thank God I’m still
here to clap,
Every Thursday.
It’s silly I know,
The big fear is outside,
I’m safe in my house,
Being Virtual mouse,
But the Big Fear is in me,
inside my head,
It’s haunting and calling
Me down to be dead.
I have to not listen,
Not fall for their lies,
I have to keep going,
My Phoenix must rise.
P’raps I should learn this,
NOW may be the time,
My jailers are long dead,
The Demons are mine.